Interview with Deepa Gangadharan | Happiness Life Coach | Speaker

At BrilliantRead Media, our aim is to bring to our community some of the unique and compelling stories from the ecosystem. As part of this endeavour, we invited Deepa Gangadharan for an exclusive interview with us. Deepa is a Happiness Life Coach, Speaker and a Mentor. Let’s learn more about her inspirational journey, background and advice for our growing community!

Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Deepa:

We are aware of your contribution to the ecosystem, talk us through your background and your journey, please;

I come from a small business family with humble roots – a nuclear family consisting of my parents and my twin brother. We hail from Kerala, currently settled in Bangalore, Karnataka. I grew up in Bangalore and graduated in Commerce from Bangalore University.

Very early in my career, I got an opportunity to work with people in guiding and training them. This made me realize that I have a flair for working with people and that I loved to coach, train and inspire people to be the best version of themselves.

With an overall 19 years of experience, I have worked in various industries like BPO, KPO and IT-enabled services, with broad strategic and operational knowledge and working in teams and building relationships.

I have extensive functional experience in Coaching, Mentoring, Experiential Learning, Training Delivery, Human Resources, Learning and Development and Operations and the only thing that was common in all these were the opportunity to interact with different people.

And when the pandemic hit us, I rekindled my passion for working with people and became a coach full time. It was a very natural and smooth progression. One of my friends told me that I have found my life’s calling and I totally agree. Coaching is giving me happiness and a sense of gratitude that I am able to pay it forward to society.

What made you passionate about ‘Coaching’?

I believe that everyone is unique and helping them discover their uniqueness is my passion. My coaching philosophy is based around the concept – Be’you’tiful. I assist my clients to truly identify and connect with themselves. By being authentic, to live and act in a way that is true to who you are, instead of trying to project an image that is based on what other people think are worthy of esteem.

Well, most of us lead life by default and not really with intention. One of the major reasons for discontentment is the conflict this gap brings in our lives. When you lack intention, it leads to procrastination and distractions.

Life is what we make of it and with every experience that we go through we get to choose what we learn from that experience. If we take only pain, disappointment and excuses to cloud our thoughts, then that is what life will be. Instead, by being grateful for what we have and taking charge of ourselves, the outcome will truly be ecstatic.

When I see this breakthrough in my clients it is very rewarding and reassures me of this journey I am on.

It’s up to us to choose – to live life by default or lead a life with intentionality.

How do you manage to keep going despite the challenges? What drives you?

The best thing that drives me is seeing results. I’ve had people come to me in tears, and once I’ve given them a practical exercise and had a heart-to-heart conversation, the cloud lifts, their eyes start shining and they look completely relaxed. Those instant results are very thrilling. It’s great seeing longer-term results, too – when people have goals to work towards, they can change their mindset, and ultimately their life story.

As far as the challenge is concerned, it’s about explaining what a happiness life coach does and this is another major driving factor. I get this question a lot of time from my friends – “So Deepa, what do you do with your clients? Do you tell them jokes to make them happy?”

Although this was meant as funny, it got me thinking. In India, the concept of life coaching is not common and when I say I am a happiness coach, it’s all the more baffling.

According to research, happiness is rated as more important than other desirable personal outcomes, such as obtaining wealth or acquiring material goods, yet it’s not given the importance it deserves. And the science behind happiness suggests several factors that contribute to one’s happiness, like the choices, activities, and mindsets that lead to fulfilment and most importantly, the common misunderstandings surrounding happiness.

This is where I come in to break the misunderstanding, I can help you integrate your thoughts and to provide a holistic perspective and help you unravel your thoughts and limiting beliefs.

Another thing that I want to highlight here is the fact that it empowers me to challenge the myths and stereotypes around happiness – many of these if addressed we will have a country with happy citizens of all age groups.

What are the myths around happiness?

How many times have we told ourselves:

(a) I will be happy when I pass my exams

(b) I will be happy when I complete my higher studies (in the dream college/university!)

(c) I will be happy when I get a job (then it turns into a dream job!)

(d) I will be happy when I get married

(e) I will be happy when my kids are settled

(f) I will be happy when I go to my dream destination

(g) I will be happy when everything in my life is perfect!

Phew!! I can’t imagine the burden we are carrying upon us, not living every moment of our life for what it is, waiting for that perfect moment to be happy.

Well, as much as I hate to burst your bubble, I want you to accept the realities of life. Life will always be complicated.

Life will just pass you by and you would have been waiting to be happy, waiting for that perfect occasion or event to occur in your life, to be happy. It’s futile to wait for things to get easier, simpler, better and happier.

Learn to be happy right now, yes starting now!

Every time you choose happy, you are learning –

– Learning to let go and move on

– Learning to overcome hurt, pain and disappointments

– Learning to make changes instead of excuses

– Learning to excel

– Learning to take charge of yourself

– Learning to be grateful for what you have

– Above all, learning to be HAPPY!

Now imagine this – You have chosen to be happy while you are waiting for your dream job. You are living and giving your best to your current job. You accept the current situation for what it is and work towards getting the dream job, knowing what steps you need to take to get there.

What is happening in this situation is that you are not only enjoying your present but also making efforts to make your future pleasant too. More like you are going from ‘Happy’ to ‘Happier’! Wouldn’t that be a great place to be? Think about it!

I would definitely love to go from Happy>Happier>Happiest! All along, knowing that my constant is “Happy”.

Here’s my question to you: So, what would you rather choose?

Who do you believe has been the biggest source of motivation in your daily life?

My biggest source of inspiration has been my parents and now, added to the list is my 10 year old daughter.

My parents have taught me a lot throughout their lives. My mother has always inspired me to be bold and to face adversity with actions and practical solutions. One thing that remains with me about my mother is that she did not know the local language – Kannada and was faced with the challenge of teaching her kids that.

She spoke to a 2nd grader in the neighbourhood and learnt the language, subsequently teaching us to read, write and speak the language. She taught me that age is not a barrier to learn anything or from whom we learn.

My late father taught me to be independent, humble and to be kind to everyone. Everything that I am today I owe it to my father – from the love of travelling, learning through the experiences that travelling brings, helping people in need, my love for books, and even cooking.

He taught me to give it my best, no matter what and to always love the process and not the outcome. While growing up, coming from a business background, we were faced with lots of ups and downs and had to undergo lots of transitions in lifestyle, there never was a day when we were unhappy due to the circumstances we faced. We had each other and that was important.

My little girl, who is a beacon of light in my life, inspires and teaches me a lot every day. She always speaks her mind and always shows me to appreciate the bright side of life.

But other than them, I am blessed to have been surrounded by family and friends who have really supported me for who I am and always believed in my capabilities, especially my husband and my brother.

What are some of the strategies that you believe have helped you grow as a person?

If you would have asked me this question a few years back, I would have laughed at it saying strategies are for career and not life. Also, I had lived my life as it came and not given much thought to it, even when it came to important decisions of my life.

All I knew is that I was driven, curious – trying out new things to see if it works for me, always questioning the status quo, did not follow stereotypes, and always learning from my experiences and things I saw around me.

In the journey that I am on currently, along with the above listed, I have also started to live with intention and choosing to be happy and living in the moment. Living with this awareness has given me clarity on what I need to focus on and what actions I need to take to be able to live a life of intention.

I am an eternal learner. As a coach, I call myself a “Life-Certified” Happiness Coach. I am a combination of my academic learnings, my certifications, my work experiences and overall life’s learnings. Since life’s experiences do not stop, I constantly apply what I learn in my coaching practice.

The day I stop learning is when I stop growing. Growing as a person (and as a coach) is a continuous and conscious activity that helps me to impact people’s lives and work towards my mission.

What is your answer to people who say it’s hard to be happy all the time?

Many times we cling to past occurrences – be it happy or sad, and that weighs down on us.

You may ask, “Deepa, how can happy occurrences weigh us down?”

Well, when we pull out our happy occurrences from our memories and cherish them, they are a great happiness booster. However, the issue with most of us is we cling to those happy memories and expect to relive the same emotions.

This expectation weighs us down, for all you know, the future might hold much more happiness than what you experienced earlier.

If in our heart we cling to anything – anger, anxiety or possessions – we cannot be free. And when anything is not free, it doesn’t flow easily. Let go of all your inhibitions and open up to the world of infinite possibilities that life has to offer.

What keeps you going?

What keeps me going is my mission – to impact as many people and spread happiness! I want to take everyone on a “Be’you’tiful” journey and discover themselves.

With my life experiences and learnings, bringing about transformation in people’s lives is something that drives me to show up every day for my clients. This May, myself and 3 other family members were tested positive for Covid 19 and we were under home quarantine – it did not stop me from showing up for my clients and people who were banking on me.

Additionally, acceptance that we are not always going to ace in everything we do is the biggest realization that I have had. I take help from my friends and express my inhibitions to get different perspectives and take feedback, whenever in doubt.

Last but not least, when I see my clients having an ‘aha’ moment and I get the privilege of witnessing their breakthrough, it’s a very powerful aspect that wants me to keep going.

Please share with us, how do you inspire your clients?

My clients can be executives, entrepreneurs, housewives, students or big corporations. I act as a mirror and a facilitator who asks a lot of questions which take my clients to a place where they normally do not go by themselves, because they are not looking in that direction.

I inspire them by showing them things that are sometimes in plain sight and nudging them to challenge their beliefs and thoughts to reveal and co-create a life that they aspire to lead.

I assist my clients:

(i) To change their mindset

(ii) To help them understand their problems

(iii) To transform their life

(iv) To find a sense of contentment

(v) To figure out their potential

Everyone has the ability to carve out the best for themselves. I am glad that people are starting to take a more holistic view of health that includes the well being of both body and mind.

All they need is to take the first step and to believe that self-development is an investment.

In your opinion, what are the keys to success?

This is an interesting question. Before I answer the keys to success, what is a success, exactly?

If you are associating success to a societal stature, a particular job title or a certain amount as balance in your bank, then you might want to rethink that notion. There are a lot of people who have achieved all these but are still fearing, cheating, hating, wanting to win desperately, still lacking a sense of contentment.

As children, we must have come across many stories that talk about a King or a rich person looking with envy at a poor person who is happy though he doesn’t have much to show off for material property. So, what made him happy?

And always the answer was that he was content with what he has and is grateful that he has the basic necessities covered and living in the present. The reality is that there is no single definition for success. It is the definition you give for what you consider is success and be happy all along.

Happy people live in the present. They rarely miss moments that matter the most. By focusing on the important and the essential they have achieved happiness that ultimately leads to success.

For example, if a farmer wakes up, ploughs his field, plant the seeds and waters the fields regularly, with an intention of growing something, not necessarily holding on to the results and the fact that the farmer shows up every day to the fields is a success, as opposed to the farmer not doing anything at all fearing no results.

The outcome many times is not within our control, but what’s within our control is what we choose to do and how we respond to situations in life.

Success is not always tangible – because I believe that it is the path and not the destination. For me, when I wake up in the morning being grateful and happy that I am alive, that’s success.

What advice would you give for people who want to find happiness in their life?

The first and foremost advice is to accept that happiness looks different on different people. Comparing yourself to anyone other than you is a total waste of time.

Having said that, regardless of your version of true happiness, living a happier, more satisfying life is totally possible by understanding what best works for you.

Having a journal, being grateful for the things you have, spending time with friends, going on a solo trip, etc. can be a few ways people find happiness.

Also, another myth about happiness is to discard unhappy thoughts or feelings. Having a positive attitude is a good thing but it’s life – things happen, good or bad. If you receive bad news, you make a mistake or lose something in life, don’t pretend you are happy.

Acknowledge and accept the feeling of unhappiness and experience it. Then, shift your focus on what made you feel this way and what it might take to recover from this.