At BrilliantRead Media, we always strive to bring meaningful and powerful stories from India and around the world to empower and motivate our growing community. As part of this endeavour, we invited Jayanthi Thriambaknath for an exclusive interview with us. She is a Life Coach, Speaker, ICF Certified NLP and Founder of ‘JAYAM – Journey Towards Positive Attitude and Mindset’. Let’s learn more about her incredible journey, background, and advice for our growing community!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Jayanthi:
We are aware of your contributions to the ecosystem; talk us through your background and your journey, please;
I completed my Graduation in the year 2004. I was my College All-Rounder Female, Best Personality, a Table-Tennis player, State level Softball player, Dancer, Model, an Actress, an International Speaker and Award Winner, ICF Certified NLP Innermost Shift Best Life Coach, then completed my Masters NLP, Certified Reiki Master Healer, Certified Ho’oponopono Coach – The Art of Healing by Forgiving, a proud Single Mother who is pursuing her MA in Psychology to understand the subject deeply. Recently, Awarded the title “Women of Significance 2022” for my contributions. I was selected as one of the top 100 women in this category.
My professional career throughout was and is of a Banker. I have an overall working experience of more than 14 years in the Customer Service Department and Finance Department. Have handled key roles during my service and proved to be an important asset for the organization by delivering quality work always.
At present, I am working in a Bank and handling customer service roles. In addition to that, I help people in dealing with their problem areas, who seek some kind of guidance and help them get a better understanding of their situation that would enable them to come out of their situation. The key areas that I deal with are Relationships, Sex Psychology, Self-Confidence, Emotional Well-Being, etc.
How did you discover your passion in ‘Coaching’?
My passion for Coaching started after I witnessed Sexual Harassment at Workplace and I was also looked upon as somebody who is not required to be a part of society – the reason being a Single Mother.
In a male-dominated society, people are not used to accepting a bold woman, who is as competent as a man. The very first thing that many do is assign her various titles.
I am sure I need not mention all that here. I was known for my confidence, open-mindedness, dynamism, charismatic personality, proactiveness, independent approach, Leadership quality and many other qualities like helping nature, kindness, empathy etc.
My struggle as a Single mother, for more than 10 years or say till date, made me realize that I really needed to work on my Mental Strength to deal with all this. The Sexual Harassment Case, the different kinds of people whom I met, people who were actually close to me but used me for whatever I had and many such similar incidents led to great disappointment in life.
My husband left me but I was blamed, my Supervisor didn’t like me so I was isolated, my subordinate employee abused me but I was blamed for instigating a man’s ego, I wanted to become a model-dancer-actress but was titled characterless and irresponsible, etc.
All this is really upsetting and I lost interest in life. I was left all alone to deal with –
> Failed Marriage with a Young Child
> Loss of Job
> Emotional Sufferings, Depression
> Anger and Frustration
> Suicidal Thoughts
> Negative Self-Talks
> Lack of Confidence
> Feeling of being left out, Loneliness, etc.
Finally, I found out that this is the story of every other individual. There is some or the other kind of problem that everyone is going through. Right from a child to an elder, everybody is battling with self and with the situations, they are forced to confront.
That’s when I decided to take up Coaching, along with my other professional career, to help these kinds of people cope up with their stress and find some hope in life. I have successfully transformed and touched the lives of many people, who were then able to feel better as an individual and even felt more confident about themselves.
With so much going on, how do you start the day to keep your passion alive?
The Mantra is very simple – “Just be grateful for what you are, who you are and what you have”. You are who you are for a reason. Just identify the purpose in life and that’s it you are good to go.
I believe those who understand this can be at peace and always self-motivated because that’s when you understand that you really are blessed in life and there are many lives that need some help.
Only when you are ready to give, you shall get. It’s never the other way round i.e. I will give it only after I get it.
How leadership qualities can help with your career or business growth?
To be honest, this is a very subjective thing according to me reason being: –
(1) If the organization or the people I work with are looking for this quality in me, then they will appreciate my efforts and I shall get better growth opportunities.
(2) On the other hand, if the organization or the people I work with are not looking out for this quality in me, then they might not like me and deprive me of any such growth opportunities. In fact, this happened to me and I am still a victim of the kind of narrow mindedness people have when it comes to a women.
So, a better way to put it would be that it all depends on the thought process and beliefs of the people associated with you. How do they interpret things in life i.e. is it biased or unbiased, based on their personal preferences.
In your opinion, what are the keys to success?
Clarity, Self-Awareness, Confidence, Focus in the Right Direction and High Moral/Ethical Values are some of the keys to success.
The one who possesses more than 3 qualities from the above is definitely free from toxic thoughts. So, his/her journey towards success will be more smooth as compared to the one who has many distractions in life – could be internal or external.
Given the rapid pace at which the world is changing, what are the leadership traits that are necessary for success?
Empathy, Team Work, Moral/Ethical Values and Unbiased Approach should definitely be a part of Leadership Traits in today’s world.
Reason being the competitive market and the need to fit in the society because everyone wants some attention and wants to feel important in the organization, wants to be recognized as one of the top employees, etc.
So, it is quite obvious for one to go out of the way to achieve success. As a leader, a lot depends on you and your personal aspects.
We know that you are continuously engaged in helping others achieve their goals. Why do you do that?
I think I have already answered this earlier.
Only when you are ready to give, you shall get. It’s never the other way round i.e. I will give it only after I get it.
I strongly believe in this because when you see someone else smile or when you make somebody happy and find that you were the reason for their smile or happiness, it really gives you some kind of satisfaction from within. Blessings of these people will definitely touch your life in a positive way because it comes from their hearts directly.
Now, while this is true for blessings, this shall stand true for even curses. I’m sure nobody wants curses. Or, let me put it this way, just imagine the needy person like you and think for a moment, at that point if somebody helps you how would you feel and react?
“Be the kind of person who you want others to be with you”.
What are the business mantras you have embraced as you sought to establish your success story?
Honestly speaking, I started my journey when there was Covid-19 Pandemic. So, not much that I have been able to accomplish. Also, had to take up a job to feed my family being a Single Mother.
I used to do one-on-one coaching during weekends. But, still a long way to go and become a Brand.
What about your journey makes it satisfying/exciting?
It feels great and proud from inside to know that you are the Inspiration for many out there.
I know of people who keep saying this to me:
– I sure need to learn a lot from you.
– I want to be like you.
– That needs a lot of guts.
– I thought of you yesterday when I wanted to say something to someone and stop him/her from doing what he/she was, but I couldn’t.
– You should have been there. 2 days back, when I witnessed a fight and I wanted to stop the fight, but I was afraid. I am sure you would have definitely done something.
So, Yes. Happy doing what I am and would love to touch and transform as many lives as possible. It’s all about sharing, caring and love. Spread love in the right way and spread happiness to make this place a beautiful one and blissful.
In your opinion what are the keys to success?
Clarity, Self-Awareness, Confidence, Focus in the Right Direction and High Moral/Ethical Values are some of the keys to success.
The one who possesses more than 3 qualities from the above is definitely free from toxic thoughts. So, his/her journey towards success will be more smooth as compared to the one who has many distractions in life – could be internal or external.
What advice would you give students and young professionals who want to have a successful career?
To be frank, I prefer to give advice only to those who seek it, who really need it to bring about a change within. Would still answer this, since it has come to me.
Today’s world has really become competitive and people are focusing on becoming successful by hook or crook, in a short span. Everybody wants to lead a lavish lifestyle. So, automatically, they become more selfish, greedy and forget about the core values that would actually help them go a long way.
Here are a few guidelines that are difficult to follow but might be helpful in the long run:
~ Focus on temporary solutions would like as if that is the right one in the beginning. But, down along the way, that might prove to be your biggest mistake. So, always focus on permanent and long term solutions.
~ Have an open mind to learn and grow. Do not be rigid in your approach. Be flexible.
~ Your inner energy drives your actions. So, always stay positive and self-motivated.
~ Have minimal and realistic expectations in life. Try to bring about the change in you rather than expecting others to change for you or according to your preferences.
~ Always believe in yourself and your journey.
~ Stop worrying about things or situations that are not in your control. You cannot change everything around you. Just accept the reality around you and deal with the situation.
~ Agree to Disagree. Often, we engage ourselves in trying to prove the other person wrong which hampers the relationship. The damage in a relationship takes to build strong. So, be wise enough.
~ Never take alcohol, drugs etc as a solution to any problem. Like I mentioned earlier, focus on the long term and realistic solutions will help you come out the problem and go a long way.
~ Do not let anyone judge you because your journey and everything associated to your journey is an experience that only you have been through. Do not let their remarks bring you down.
~ Accept who you are on the very first go and stay strong. Try to find the positives in every negative and experience the difference.
Last but not least, could you please share with us – what has worked well for you so far?
“Be the kind of person who you want others to be with you”.
When you are ready to give, you shall get. It’s never the other way round i.e. I will give it only after I get it.
People might call you foolish throughout your life for being so. But, what they often forget is that they are getting things only when somebody else is willing to give it.
One needs to understand that when something becomes your identity, for example, greediness or selfishness, you will be popularly known for that. For you, it may be a matter of pride for a temporary period, over a period of time people would understand and stop doing things for their personal reasons.
While this is true for a negative trait of an individual, this stands true for positive traits as well, say, Kindness, Sharing, Caring etc. Initially, people might have titled you as a fool, but with the passage of time, things change and you now will become a name that is known for being kind and helpful.
So, What I follow or what works best for me is – Replace people or their situations with that of yours and do what is best at that point within your limit – be it financial or emotional help.
Thank you for giving me this opportunity to express my thoughts and views on all the above questions. It was a wonderful experience being a part of this.
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