Interview with Kavita Dhilllon | Behavioural Facilitator | Business Etiquette Coach | NLP Coach | Founder and Chief Image Consultant At Extra Edge Image Management and Consulting
At BrilliantRead Media, we always strive to bring some of the meaningful and powerful stories from India and around the world to empower and motivate our growing community. As part of that endeavour, we invited yet another passionate entrepreneur Kavita Dhilllon this weekend to know more about her inspiring journey. She is a certified Business Coach, Speaker, Mentor, Leader and Founder & Chief Image Consultant of Extra Edge Image Management and Consulting. Let’s learn more about her journey, way forward and her advice for our growing community!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Kavita:
Talk us through your background and your journey as a women entrepreneur, please;
“Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself” – I am a firm believer of this quote.
I grew up in a healthy Army family and this provided with additional opportunities to learn what I yearned for. My siblings made growing up interesting and delightful. This made my childhood days more vibrant. My family has supported me in everything to bring me to a place where I now stand. Throughout these years, my family, especially my parents always stood by me as I tried to find a forte in life. Academically bright, I had the opportunity to study in best schools and colleges including Sophia College, Ajmer. Being an Army kid, I have had the opportunity to live in various places all over the country. Military children on an average make more moves than their civilian counterparts. Therefore, they encounter many cultures and this experience helps them to appreciate the diversity in our country. Besides, Armed Forces afford environment to acquire all-important skill called Adaptability, an essential ingredient for success in life. Besides, I did my Masters in the English language because in those days, without doing post-graduation, education was seen as incomplete.
Having done my masters, I was lucky to have been picked up as a management trainee and executive in the corporate sector. The job was highly demanding in terms of time. I took this challenge as an opportunity as I learnt to meet timelines, pay attention to details and be more perseverant. Not only that, but it also afforded me an opportunity to sharpen my communication and interpersonal skills. But this experience was rather brief. Barely had I started enjoying my job. Then the marriage happened. Overnight, Kavita Janghu became Kavita Dhillon as I besides being an Army daughter became an Army wife.
I had a fairly good idea as to how the forces work but being an Army daughter and an Army wife is altogether different. I now realize how difficult my mother’s situation was. I had to quit my job, re-locate myself with my husband and ended up picking up a teaching job at the new place, as that was the only thing I could pursue if I wanted to be with my husband.
When it comes to Army wives pursuing their careers, the challenge is twofold: geographical as well as cultural. There are limited career opportunities for Army wives in Tier II and Tier III cities where their husbands get posted. Also, in small cities, the surroundings are not too encouraging for working women; so, unless one is self-motivated, it becomes exceedingly difficult to pursue a serious, full-time career. But the spark in me to carve out my own identity as a professional continued to ignite.
As far as my past work experience is considered, I’ve been an accomplished facilitator with some of the best schools and colleges all over the country. I also got an opportunity to be the coordinator of Asha school, Siliguri. As the name says it all, Asha means hope. Hope for the physically and mentally challenged children. When I was bestowed with this responsibility, I was a bit hesitant as I had never had an opportunity to interact with such children. But once I met them, I realised Kids with special needs are not weird or odd. They only want what everyone else wants to be accepted. With my desire to serve others, I took up this responsibility and with the support of the entire staff of the school I was able to handle the responsibility well. I introduced the concept of a healthy mid-day meal. It was very well taken by the school children. This experience of working with these kids with special needs will always remain close to my heart as it nurtured the quality of patience in me.
My interests include travelling, gardening, interior decoration and of course updating my knowledge. I guess, my basic instinct, is to keep learning and exploring all the times. Another thing that interests me is to keep fit. I can call myself a fitness freak. I strongly believe that our body is the biggest advert of self and so keeping fit helps in forming a great first impression and elevating your personal brand.
As a person, I think, I am sensitive, yet self-contained. Another aspect of my personality is that I love creativity. I think creativity is the key to solving any problems/situations. One has to think creatively in order to break down a problem into the smaller and more manageable components.”
I took a sabbatical in between to be with my young children. I always wanted to be an inspiring mom to my children by walking the talk, and not just by telling them what to do. I have successfully instilled a sense of achievement in them, apart from the core values and skills.
It was in March of 2012, that something major happened. It hit me -hit me hard. I was shaken to the core. And I realised, I was losing control of myself, I was falling apart. Suddenly a person Who was so active in all areas of her life-vibrant, happy, outgoing went into her shell. I fell apart completely. Thankfully at that time my husband got his Delhi posting, so along with my husband, I also had the support of my dad. One thing led to another-major health issues. I went through 3 major surgeries. Here was a person who was appreciated for her confidence, how well she dressed and presented herself-was not even willing to go out and meet people. That is the time I realised, that I can’t let this happen to me. I have to come out of it. I also realised that the ability to come out of this was inside me only, at my disposal. People could and did help but I had to walk through the door. It took 3 years of rock bottom before I began rediscovering myself through small routines working out at home and eating simple, healthy meals that I started to truly turn around. I realised that to again come back to my original self, in fact, a better version of myself-it was particularly important to really learn to be honest with myself and how my feelings affected my anxiety in life.
Despite all the personal challenges, the creativity factor in me was still alive and it motivated me to have my own setup one day. All these years I was trying to figure out what I could do to achieve my aim in life. It’s then that I came across ICBI and the courses being offered by them. It was an instant decision that this was my calling. Being a creative person, I have a passion to help people become beautiful-inside/outside by working on their Appearance, Behaviour and Communication skills.
I decided to take a formal plunge into training as this was what I had been doing informally for all these years. I knew a formal certification was required for my second career as a trainer, which I went on to acquire as an Image consultant and Soft skills trainer from ICBI. As I started my journey in this field I realised the Importance of Inner Image, wellness, confidence and self-esteem. If a person is feeling good and balanced from the inside, they will be able to utilise the resources to present a better image outside. A congruency has to be developed. That led me towards doing my NLP Master Practitioner Certification. Now I successfully incorporate the elements of the image, soft skills, and NLP to help my client to bring out the best in them which I call A Holistic Image. I have my own brand by the name Extra Edge Image and Wellness Management and Consulting.”
I have had the privilege to work with some of the best brands in the market, Govt sectors, Public sectors, and Institutes all over the country. I proudly joined many fellow Army wives who have rewritten the definition of success. However, it does take time, patience, and perseverance to reach a rewarding stage.
We are aware of all the good work you are doing in your space, our audience whats to know – what keeps you going?
Success is what motivates me to do a good job. Knowing the fact that my hard work and perseverance will help me achieve greater professional success is what keeps me going. When I know that my efforts are following the correct path, it encourages me to push more.
Learning human nature is one of my other interests. Nature of every human being is so unpredictable and diverse; studying, how different persons respond under various circumstances, is what I really love. It is such an interesting hobby, as you tend to learn so many different aspects of an individual’s personality. I love people and everyone’s unique qualities, their differences, their strengths and their vulnerabilities and I think that is why I love helping people create their own personal brand. I love to see them growing and discovery each person makes along this journey. It is almost like watching beautiful butterflies take flight for the first time and see the earth with a new and inspired view. I have watched shy and retiring people with little confidence suddenly realize they have strengths and skills that need to be shared and enjoyed via the growth of their personal branding.
Hence, for me, success is important both at a personal as well as at an organizational level. Motivation is seeing the organization grow which ultimately leads to personal achievement and success. There might be instances of failure or stagnation, but it does not demotivate me anyhow. On the other hand, I feel re-invigorated to perform even more. The taste of success after a failure is what keeps the fire going within me no matter what the circumstance
Why did you choose entrepreneurship over a corporate career?
The creativity factor in me always motivated me to have my own setup one day. I never appreciated the 9-5 routine. I always wanted to be my own boss. Being your own boss gives you flexibility, financial independence, work-life balance, and professional identity.
Please share with our audience some of the challenges that you have faced in your journey;
Challenges in life are given, and one can use this to your advantage. I take each challenge as an opportunity for personal growth and self-improvement. The initial challenges were handling difficult clients and technology to some extent and other challenges were investing long hours to establish myself in the industry, travelling for work and continuously updating myself. With the help of my family, I was easily able to overcome these hindrances – and I tried to maintain a work-life balance. As for updating my self – I do not consider it a challenge anymore. It is an ongoing process and now I have started enjoying it.
But you realize that you need to learn from your experiences along the way. I can say that I have trained many people till date – but I have also learnt something from each one of them. Ultimately, the goal is to use what you learn as you grow to become the best version of yourself.
What is your Business Mantra: Money or Emotions?
I think a balance needs to be maintained. Although, everything starts with emotions. If you want to accomplish great success in life, learn to love yourself, your work, and the people around you. When you are passionate about yourself, your loved ones, your work, you will be happier and are able to perform better result.
And when you perform better in life, you will achieve more. When you achieve more, you will earn more and as a result, you will have more money. This is why emotions are important and it can make you rich.
During this COVID-19 crisis, what are the measures we have undertaken to continue your business without disruption?
The Covid-19 pandemic is changed the way we live, work, and use technology. As the world adjusts to its new normal, business leaders need to rethink strategies to drive resilience and emerge from this crisis stronger.
While all business activities that require physical interaction have suffered, the pandemic has presented opportunities for the contactless world of digital business. As far as I am concerned, I have been in regular touch with my clients, having a regular and effective digital presence through various social media platforms. Conducting value-oriented sessions for my clients online. While there is a necessity to adopt this form of working now, we need to be careful about how we transition into this ‘new way of working’. This cultural change would be driven by respecting each other’s time, being very clear in communication.
How do you handle the pressure and manage stress?
I use the ABC Strategy:
1 – Awareness – What causes you stress? How do you react?
2 – Balance – There is a fine line between Positive and Negative stress. How much can you cope with stress before it becomes negative?
3 – Control – What can you do by yourself to combat the negative effects of stress?
How I manage stress?
1 – Changing Thinking-Re-Framing and Positive Thinking. Focus on your strengths, learn from the stress you are under, Look for opportunities
2 – Changing Behaviour-Be assertive, Get Organised, Ventilation, Humour, Diversion
3 – Changing lifestyle-You know your lifestyle and how it is affecting
What has worked well for you so far?
I have always been a people’s person – very fond of public speaking, interacting with a lot of people. I realized that despite having the best technical skills and knowledge, they are not able to make a mark for themselves in personal, professional, and social arenas. I was always trying to discover the reasons. Why? It is then that I realized what was amiss. I understood the importance of soft skills, better presentation and Inner well-being that I decided to work on this as my basic idea for a business – Helping the people with their inner as well as an outer image so that they can achieve all-round success in life. Besides, my experience in educational Industry helped me to have a smooth transition from a teacher to a trainer, coach facilitator and a Mentor.
What are the business mantras you have embraced as you sought to establish your success story?
Getting the right opportunity and performing to the best of your capability when you get that opportunity.
To get that opportunity, I present myself as a brand. I prepare myself to give in my best shot at each and every opportunity that comes my way.
My mantra is:
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE – PERFORM AND ENJOY.
The ability to achieve anything you want in life is inside you only, at your disposal. People will help you and guide you but you yourself have to walk through the door. So, take responsibility and fulfil it to the best of your ability.
Given the rapid pace at which the world is changing, what are the leadership traits that are necessary for success?
The ability to effectively lead is a crucial factor in the success, or lack thereof, in entrepreneurial ventures. By understanding and embodying what it takes to lead effectively, entrepreneurs can maximize their chances of success.
To be an effective leader, an entrepreneur must:
1 – Build trust and confidence among your employees and the clients.
2 – Communicate effectively with them.
3 – Seeking self-improvement: A great leader always seeks to become even better.
4 – Possessing technical skills: While the leader may not need to have the greatest technical skills in their organizations, they need to be savvy enough to lead the team.
5 – Accepting responsibility for actions: Leaders and companies always make mistakes. Great leaders do not place blame on others.
6 – Making decisions: Good leaders must make good and timely decisions.
7 – Being a role model: A leader must set an example to guide the people you interact with to excel.
8 – Knowledge-seeker- Anticipate and use knowledge, drive for in-depth information, knowledge as an asset generating too many new ideas, too many pivots Write and share ideas, prioritise, get outside inputs, create a clear roadmap for changes.
We would love to know your advice for all those starting out as an aspiring women entrepreneur?
Taking responsibility for your life – by taking responsibility for our lives we not only gain control of what happens, but it also becomes natural to feel like you deserve more in life as your self-esteem builds as you do the right thing more consistently. You feel better about yourself. You feel improved.
Understand the limits of your responsibility- “Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.”
Taking responsibility for your life is great. But that is also all that you have control over. You cannot control the results of your actions. You cannot control how someone reacts to what you say or what you do.
At the same time, it is important to know where your limits are, failing which you will create avoidable problems and waste energy.
The ability to achieve anything you want in life is inside you only, at your disposal. People will help you and guide you but you yourself have to walk through the door. So, take responsibility and fulfil it to the best of your ability.
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