At BrilliantRead Media, our aim is to bring to our community some of the finest stories from around the world. As part of this endeavour, we invited a passionate entrepreneur – Shadi Razavian for an exclusive interview with us. She is a Motivational Speaker, Leader, Entrepreneur, Coach, Mentor, Change Enabler, and Psychologist at Yourperfectimperfectself. Let’s learn more about her inspiring journey, her background and her advice for our growing community.
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Shadi:
Talk us through your background and your journey, please;
Well, let me start by explaining the meaning of my name. Shadi means “Happiness” in Persian which is my mother tongue.
I was born in Tehran, Iran a few years before the revolution. My family had to flee the country when I was 12 years old in fear of our lives. I probably should save the details for my book (planning to write one on my super fascinating life story) but to cut a long story short, after travelling to many countries, I ended up marrying an Indian and settling down in India Pune, at the age of 20.”
Yup too young! My family tried hard to change my mind but as they say, Love is blind. My love story didn’t turn out as I had hoped so despite all the efforts I had to walk out of that relationship after 18 years because if I hadn’t I would have surely ended my life.
It was almost two decades of mental abuse. I knew I had lost myself totally just trying to make that marriage work. Mind you no regrets because those years made me the person I am today and I have two beautiful kids from that marriage.”
Of course, it has been 10 years since then and I am happily settled in a fulfilling loving relationship. I completed my masters as I was fighting a nasty divorce and working 12 hours a day as a child care manager and teacher.
Technically, you could say that I have never stopped learning new skills. I went on to complete various certifications such as NLP, EFT, Hypnotherapy, REBT, Mindfulness and Life Coaching. I am also a TESOL trainer. Currently, my book is in publishing. I am a vegan and love creating healthy delicious recipes. I absolutely love helping people find their own greatness.
To define my motto in a line – “A day without learning is no day at all.”
What made you passionate about ‘Psychology’?
I was a very observant child. I remember my elder sister would always ask me what I thought about the boys she wanted to date. even though I was 6 years younger than her. I guess I had the ability to understand people through mere observation of their actions and words, body language.
Later in life after all that I went through and saw in this world. I was even more intrigued about human behaviour. I wanted to know why the never-ending pursuit of happiness? It was as if the more we chase it the further it goes from us.
I wanted to understand why my mind didn’t seem in my own control! What was driving my beliefs and the lack of motivation at times and so much more.
I began not only the study of psychology and many other modalities, but I applied everything I learnt to myself.I have worked extensively on my own subconscious, my beliefs and the inner child to be where I am today which is a fantabulous space.”
So to give a one-liner to the question – “I wanted to know myself better”
How do you manage to keep going despite the challenges? What drives you?
Life is beautiful because nothing remains the same ever. The only permanent thing in life is change. I am probably a positive person by default. The genetic factor does have a role to play for sure, however, according to me the ability to see positives through challenges and adversities is a skill that can be developed through practice like any other.
What drives me is the love for living a life that is based on my own terms, my core values. A life that is about giving and receiving.”
I have come to understand that the sole purpose of our existence is to recognize the divinity within, the Inner Being that is us. Once this truth is acknowledged and recognized life seems like an exciting roller coaster which though at times makes you sick in the stomach yet, gives you the rush of being alive.
Imagine each one of us is one in 7 billion isn’t that magnificent? Aren’t we lucky each day to open our eyes and breathe the next breath? Isn’t that enough drive?
You see life gives you what you expect of it. expect the worse and you will receive the worse, expect the best and you sure will.
“Asketh and you receiveth “ I like to say expect and you receive ☺
Who do you believe has been the biggest source of motivation in your daily life?
When I was at the bottom of the pit in my life, the darkest place of no self-esteem, self-love. It was my daughter who was my only motivation to fight and become the best version of myself.
In fact, I got the strength to walk out of an abusive marriage because I didn’t want to set an example for my daughter that it was ok to get pushed around for love. She has been and continues to be my motivation. And of course, my life partner who is my best friend and I can’t complete this answer without mentioning my beautiful pet dog. She has taught me so much and made me a better person.
But to be very honest I am a self-motivated person. My epiphany moment was when at the peak of pain, despair and depression, I realized NO ONE was coming to save me. It was all me. I know to some it sounds cynical but believe it or not the moment was so empowering that shook me out of my misery. I never looked back after that. I knew I had to be in the driver’s seat of my life’s vehicle.
What are some of the strategies that you believe has helped you grow as a person?
I am going to share exactly what steps I took to take charge of my life, my mind, my emotions and my thoughts. What I call Mind Mastery.
1 – Find your core beliefs
2 – Recognize and replace your limiting beliefs with ones that serve you
3 – Work with your inner child
4 – Live mindfully
5 – Live in gratitude
6 – Learn something every day
7 – Mind the power of your words
You see, I believe we all suffer from a universal disease called “I am not enough”
Getting rid of this disease is a life-changing experience. That’s what I do for my clients. Helping them find their more than enough self.
You are always positive and motivated, what keeps you going?
As cliché, as it sounds but the truth is we are work in progress.
I would be lying if I say I am never down or I never have an anxious moment. I sure do. What I have mastered, however, is the art of picking the right words, thoughts and consequently creating the emotion that I desire.
Being positive as I mentioned is a skill. Staying motivated is a lifetime commitment. Life is all about choices. We can choose negativity, hopelessness or we can choose positivity and being motivated.
It is as simple as choosing rice or roti. I know it seems too easy to be real but that is one of our biggest problems in life. We think what is easy can’t be true.
Yet It is that simple: Choose to be positive. Choose to smile. Choose to see beauty in life. It is all about choices.
Please share with us, how do you motivate your clients?
I work with mastering the mind, understanding how the mind works helps us manage our monkey mind, increasing our EQ and taking control of our thoughts and emotions.
I work to increase their awareness in order to live in the NOW for a more fulfilling life through mindfulness activities.
Helping my clients to understand true self-love is completely life-changing. I have clients who start losing weight as we are working with self-compassion and self-love. It is almost magical how connected our mind and body is.
I use REBT, CBT, ACT to educate my clients so that they grow independently and do not feel in need of my support after we have resolved all the limiting beliefs and even work on the Inner Child maybe through Hypnosis.
To me, there is a great pleasure when my clients develop the right skills to manage life experiences. When they know their happiness is not connected to any other emotions or events or person/s. But they live in the “State of Happiness”.
In your opinion, what are the keys to success?
Success! What a heavy word for most. Everyone wants to be successful and yet we are not sure what success is.
Success is about the journey to do your best in whatever task you take up. To give your hundred per cent.
If you are a mother, give it your all and you are a successful person. Whatever it is that you do as long as you give your all you are successful
Most of us think if I do this or that when I get that job when I become a CEO then I am successful and along the way, we miss all that we learn, achieve and gain
Keys to success since you ask:
a) Be your authentic self
b) Be honest with yourself first and the world too
c) Live in the NOW
d) Live in awareness
e) Love yourself enough to forgive your own mistakes
f) Focus on what you WANT not what you DON’T want
g) Choose your words because your words have the power to make or break you
h) Believe in your own greatness
What advice would you give students and young professionals who want to have a successful career?
You might find my answer unusual but I would advise the youth to find out what it is that takes them into a state of “FLOW”. This is a state where you are totally engrossed in an activity which takes you to a place where you forget everything around you literally like a trance.
That activity is the one that I would call the “Ikigai” or purpose or passion. You see, we only excel in what we love doing. Many youths or I dare say most of them choose their career based on what parents, society, friends, acquaintances etc tell them.
That’s why so many adults feel dissatisfied and lost after years of professional life. They question their own existence. They drag themselves to their office and complain about their work at the smallest chance. Life is too short to do things we don’t love to do.”
I also admit it is not easy to find out what we are passionate about. That’s why it is important to begin the inner journey to know ourselves as early as we can.
Clarity of our values, our wants and desires, clarity on who we want to be five or ten years down the line helps immensely in finding our flow.
Seeking help from a professional Coach, Psychologist or Therapist should be encouraged. Unfortunately, people only reach out to professionals like myself after they feel completely broken. The truth is sometimes a fresh nonjudgmental third-person perception in the form of Socratic questioning can be surprisingly liberating.
To wrap it up I say – focus on knowing yourself before you decide exactly what it is you want to take up as a profession.”
BrilliantRead is committed to bringing stories from the startup ecosystem, stories that reshape our perspective, add value to our community and be a constant source of motivation not just for our community but also for the whole ecosystem of entrepreneurs and aspiring individuals.
Note: If you have a similar story to share with our audience and would like to be featured on our online magazine, then please write to us at [email protected], we will review your story and extend an invitation to feature if it is worth publishing.
