As part of our ongoing quest to get you meaningful and powerful stories from India and around the world, we invited – Shivanya Yogmayaa for an exclusive interview with BrilliantRead Media. She is a passionate Relationship and Intimacy Coach. Let’s read more about her inspiring journey and advice for our growing community!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Shivanya:
Tell us a bit about your career. Why did you choose Relationship Coaching?
I was a truly romantic soul who believed in Love, Romance and Happy Endings; but wasn’t wise enough to know what it takes. I learned much along with my own Life and Love Journeys. I observed many relationship dynamics growing up, and I was intrigued by what made some relationships happy and long-lasting while others failed.
I took interest in holistic psychology early on before I mushroomed as a Relationship & Intimacy Coach. I guess you could say I was destined to become a Relationship Coach.
In today’s world, companionship and commitment is fading away due to many factors – I believe this needs to be addressed. We learn much in school and college, but something so vital that rules or ruins our life was never taught to us. There is no “Relationship Academy”. I felt that is what I am designed to offer guidance on. I was passionate about Love, Sex, & Spirituality and people highly appreciated my blog on the same.
That’s why I decided to make it my work-life purpose to serve singles and couples. My clients showed good results and gave positive feedback, which warmed my heart and encouraged me to continue on this path.
Regarding my qualifications, I am internationally certified in Relationship & Intimacy Coaching and am trained in various modalities like EFT, Hypnotherapy, CBT, REBT, ACT, Gestalt & Transactional Analysis. In addition, I use Chakra Consciousness, Crystal Therapy, Yoga Nidra & Reiki healing.
What does your tagline mean? – “Relationship Heals when You Heal”
Well yes, that was very much my deep insight and awakening. The more you resolve your past wounds with parents or partners; the more you rise to healthy, harmonious, loving & supportive relationships. Most of the time we think we need to fix the other person, but that’s unlikely to happen.
What really changes the dynamics of your relationship is YOU releasing old beliefs and wounds. The more you heal, the more you’ll make the right choices and responses with your current partner or your parents.
Life and Relationships are reflecting YOU – your inner world. Look within as the answer lies there. That is where the Journey into Love begins.
Online dating has seen a rise in recent months. What would you suggest to singles on online dating platforms?
Online dating is the most feasible option for many singles, as lockdown has limited us to digital connections. I would say it’s a boon for singles, as they would otherwise be confined to loneliness.
However, one must use it wisely, keeping in mind that you don’t know the person on the other side. There are many romance scammers and fake profiles who misuse the anonymity of the virtual world to take advantage of these vulnerable times.
So I encourage singles to take it slow before investing emotionally. Take it as a sport or adventure, whether you are seeking romantic relationships or friends. Girls need to learn that dating sites are not matrimonials, so seeking husbands or soul mates is a self-defeating intention.
And men need to understand that marital sites are not dating sites. Choosing the right approach, in the right platform, with authenticity and transparency will bring better results. Creating an impactful profile is a Must! That’s what gets you seen and selected.
What kind of services do you offer as a Relationship Coach?
I have over 10 years of experience in guiding Singles and Couples, on relationship challenges broadly in 4 areas of Love:
(i) Creating fulfillment in Relationship/Marriage & Intimate Life
(ii) Post Breakup/Divorce Recovery
(iii) Having a Loving relationship with one-self
(iv) Dating Skills Coaching for Singles
What areas are people seeking Relationship Coaching, in this pandemic phase?
Many couples are seeking ‘Couple Intimacy Bonding’ as they are locked in with each other and have a lot of together-time to revive their spark and resolve strains in their relationship. We offer guidance on all types of intimacy through various role-plays, therapies, activities, games, and deeper introspections.
Singles, both men & women, want guidance in dating skills. We offer ‘Alchemy of Attraction’ for single men, to learn how to attract women and develop a connection with chemistry. We teach inner-work and confidence building, communication skills- both verbal and non-verbal, and grooming & styling.
For single women, we have ‘How to Attract the Right Match’, whether for dating or marriage. Many of them come because they don’t know why they fall for men who aren’t good for them and want help in breaking the pattern.
I am delighted to say that my past clients have found valuable insights and more fulfilment in their love lives after the program.
What is your take on the pandemic’s effect on Relationships & Marriages?
With the onset of the pandemic, couples found themselves pulled from their social worlds, with usual leisure activities and socializing no longer available. Going to work became a health risk; businesses closed and jobs were lost. Children came home from college and schools closed. Supporting children’s health and wellness took on new dimensions.
Such external stressors produce conflict, anxiety, lack of alone time for couples, less intimacy, more loneliness, and for many couples, less relationship stability.
But yes, some couples have become much closer and supportive during the crisis. Many newly married couples are feeling fortunate to be together due to lockdown and are happy with the intimate moments they get to share.
Some others however had to resort to divorce- their relationship was already dysfunctional, but due to the pandemic it became even harder to survive under one roof. So in short, it has brought about the Good, Bad & Ugly – mixed impact on existing relationships.
What do you find satisfying about your work as a Relationship & Intimacy Coach?
Oh much! I get to witness the transformation of my clients – see a happy turnaround in their relationships. And usually, the positive effects ripple over to every other area of their lives as they evolve and resolve issues. The feedback they give me fills me with joy and further encourages me on the purpose I am living.
Secondly, I have the freedom to work from anywhere and at any time, which gives me control over my work-life balance. My work is usually via zoom calls, so I can offer personalized attention at mutually agreed times – which allows flexibility for both me and my clients.
Thirdly, I live my life as an ongoing journey of self-evolution. Each client’s life story has much in-depth inner work which continually reminds me of who we are and how relationships can be a path of awakening too!
What challenges do you face in your profession?
Many Couples and Singles shy away from seeking Relationship Coaching as we are conditioned to just let it lie low. Or seek advice from parents or friends who may not be completely aware of the root causes and effects. So they only get superficial understanding and are unable to make deep and long-lasting changes in their love lives.
Many feel investing in Relationship Coaching is not required and let time sort things out; but sadly with the passage of time, many things get worse and perhaps even out of control.
I believe much can be resolved if timely help from a Counselor or Coach is sought, as their guidance will be well-informed, professional and non-judgmental, unlike family or friends’ advice.
Some feel hesitant to share their personal intimate matters out of shame and self-judgement, so they shy away from ever seeking help. Even though counsellors and coaches operate from a non-judgmental space and abide by terms of confidentiality.
My sincere hope is, with changing times, more people seek professional guidance and get to enjoy healthier and more harmonious relationships. And the one that counts the most is your relationship with yourself; as that’s the space from which all other relationships draw life from… flourishing or failing depending on how much you have grown into Self-Love.
It’s never too late to get started. Reach out to a Coach/Counsellor and embark on your own Journey into Love!
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