In our latest interview, we spoke to Tanya Jaspal to understand more about her journey as a women entrepreneur. She is a Psychologist, Life coach, Practicing Hypnotherapist and a Body Positive Enthusiast. Tanya has been working on various projects for women who struggle with their own selves and their own bodies. She makes it happen through group sessions named – SCARS TO YOUR BEAUTIFUL.
“I may not be able to change the world for everyone but I’ll be content if I’m able to change the view of the world even for one person”, says Tanya
Let’s learn more about her journey and her advice for those aspiring!
Excerpts from our exclusive interview with Tanya:
Tell us a little bit about your journey and why did you choose to be a life coach?
My Journey? has been a roller coaster ride. The only difference now is, I have control over the speed of the roller coaster 🙂
From feeling emotionally and mentally abused to becoming a certified hypnotherapist and a life coach, that’s what my journey is about.
Understanding, how it feels not to be heard, how it feels not to be understood, how it feels to not have someone to talk to and not be judged, how it feels to not feel accepted, appreciated or validated enough emotionally, I understand it all and that too fro a young age. Which made me sure I was meant for this. Because that’s how I work, I am empathetic to a level that I can sense it when someone’s not okay and they need someone, because I’ve been there too.
I am grateful to my mother for introducing me to this field and maybe cause she knew I’d benefit from it. Little did I know that this would become the purpose of my life.
So more than a choice, becoming a psychologist and a life coach, was more of a destiny kinda thing.
Why is it important to have a coach/mentor?
Is it important to have a coach/mentor? No, it isn’t.
But is it important to seek a coach/mentor when you’re feeling stuck, when feeling you’re truly unhappy or you’re unable to make decisions for yourself or you’re unable to balance aspects of life? YES.
Seeking a coach/psychologist doesn’t make you look weak, it only shows how determined you are to help yourself and that is a sign of strength.
Having a coach/mentor is only going to ensure efficient growth in life.
What gets you out of bed in the morning i.e. what’s your source of motivation?
What gets me out of bed every morning? The very fact that ‘I’m Alive’. I have experienced the death of a closed one. I have even experienced a major anxiety phase of dying. And trust me when I say this, I’m more than grateful to be living my life.
So many of us forget we are still breathing, we get a new chance with every sunrise we see. My motivation ‘To Live’ is huge. I want to make the best of my life. I want to help as many people as I can. I want to lead a fulfilling life and this is what motivates me every morning.
What challenges/obstacles did you face in your journey so far?
I was body-shamed by my own extended family, my ex-best friend, my school teachers and god knows who else. I was told I had an ugly face while my parents were so good looking. I was told I’d only get a guy to fall in love with me for my money and not the way I look. I was told I need to fix my face to look good.
And all this happened between the age of 8-13 years. Yes, that’s right. Those words have the power to leave an impact on a child’s mind. I was cyberbullied as well. There are worse things I can’t talk about, not because I can’t say them but because they’re really that bad.
I think I always felt emotionally and mentally abused. Ever since I was a kid, I don’t remember a single person until my high school who made me feel accepted. I have amazing parents but little did they know what I felt, cause even I didn’t know them at that time. I didn’t know what to convey to them. I always felt lost.
Although, I am blessed with the capacity to learn, with the capacity to introspect and I kept doing it. I kept learning about myself and the world around me. The only challenge I had, was to do it all alone. Maybe that’s why I want to reach out to people and especially to kids who don’t know whom to talk to, who don’t know how to reach out.
What comes first for you – money or emotions?
With no doubt, EMOTIONS!
There is no right or wrong answer to this. The struggle is one’s life can influence the answer to the same question.
For me, It is emotions. I know what it feels like to not be heard, to not be understood. I understand how important it becomes to acknowledge emotions and I learned this while I was just 8 years old.
How do you handle the pressure and manage stress?
To be honest, I don’t handle stress. I EMBRACE IT. I strongly believe that embracing one’s reality of life helps them grow beautifully. It is only our struggles and challenges that teach us the most important lessons in life. It is only our stresses in life that give us an opportunity to learn more and perform better. Yes, it is also important to realise that stress may at times lead to emotional, mental and physical burnout and we need to be prepared to deal with those scenarios. That preparation comes with developing certain skills and using certain techniques.
Most importantly, I don’t identify my existence with the stress I may have. I acknowledge that the stress, has its own identity and I should treat it as an outsider who should only be given permission to enter and stay inside my mind for a brief time, as long as it is providing me with the scope to grow.
Too much of anything is bad, a prolonged state of stress is bad. So in such a state, I usually meditate. While I meditate, I talk to my stress and say ‘You know it was great having you here, I learned so much but right now it’s time for you to leave’. Ah! I agree sometimes the stress has a weird personality and constantly tries to find ways to stay but then, ‘you’ will always have an option to discard it from your mind.
1 – Take a break! Go on that vacation you only talked about (Don’t have money? Let me remind you that you are living in a world of possibilities, there are blogs about free travelling, but you gotta make an effort)
2 – Continue with the most artistic hobby, a most rejuvenating hobby you had or have, do more of it, improvise it with something better
3 – Stress has gotten to you so bad that you can’t think straight? It is affecting your body even? Do you know there are professionals available to help you with that
What is one strategy that you believe has helped you grow as a person?
Hmm… There are so many coming to my mind right now but the one that goes over the top is…
I NEVER STOP LEARNING. I learn things from the people I meet, places I go, activities I try for the first time and of course from the mistakes I make. I just never stop learning. And the most wonderful thing about it is, look in any direction, look towards anything, you will always find something to learn. This learning makes sure that I keep growing as a person. Like today how I learned to give an interview in a written format 🙂
In your opinion what are the keys to success?
First, I’d like to define what success means to me. Cause everyone’s answer may vary. To me, success is about leading a life which is fulfilling, where I have no regrets, where I know I spent every moment living my life and fulfilling my dreams. That’s how I know I’m gonna be successful.
Keys To Success?
1 – Embracing Your Real Self, cause that is how your confidence is going to root up within you. That’s how you will realise your own potential.
2 – Embracing Challenges and Stresses in life. Cause they provide you with the opportunity to learn and do better. They help you reflect on what you’re missing and help you move forward.
3 – Embracing Failures. You may fail. Maybe even a hundred times or a thousand. But every time you do, you will learn something new.
4 – Embracing Relationships. If you don’t have people around you who push you towards growth, maybe it’s time to expand your social circles and get around people who motivate you to do more and more. (Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want you to leave your friends or family for this, all I want is you to make space to introduce a new circle in your life)
5 – Lastly, Embracing Life. There is no success if you’re unhappy with life. What will you do with that success? You’ve got to be mindful. You’ve got to experience every moment and enjoy the phases of life.
What advice would you give to someone starting out particularly women?
I have this persistent thought always going across my head, for every person I meet and you’ll also find it in most of the content I make in my area of work, which is – ‘YOU DO YOU’
So more than any advice, I’d like to convey something, “I Believe in you, Yes, Me! A Stranger. I Believe in your potential. I think you need to trust yourself more than you trust the world. You have all the answers you need within you. You making an effort towards your dreams is appreciated. By just these efforts you’ve made so far, you have won half the battle. Keep your spirits high, seek help if you want to (it doesn’t make you look weak rather just determined to grow efficiently), Keep going and While you are trying to do so much, Please don’t forget to ‘live a life’.”
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